It's now four months since I discovered the cam site Chaturbate, and in that time I've seen a lot of different things, had a lot of different types of experiences, but it can still throw up all sorts of surprises, all sorts of bizarre, surreal experiences.
Last night I stumbled on the strangest room I've seen in a long time. It was an 'exhibitionist' room - so no tokens were involved - and in it there was a young woman dressed as Princess Leia, complete with a very convincing doughnut-ring Princess Leia wig.
She was an attractive girl, and when I joined the room she was lying back with her legs spread, and half-heartedly rubbing her pussy. But she had the most pissed-off expression on her face I've ever seen.
The chat room was un-modded and out of control. There were some people trying to be friendly, but there were a lot of idiots, a lot of sexual graphics and dick emotes (what the fuck is it with dick emotes?), and A LOT of Star Wars puns.
Princess Leia was kind of following the chat, and she looked increasingly pissed at every single thing that was being typed, even the non-dickish comments. Any request for her to do anything sexual was met with a look of absolute scorn on her face.
Now, given that she was masturbating anyway, and that she couldn't receive tips, I didn't think that some of the requests were particularly rude or inappropriate - but she responded to each one of them was a firm and resolute, 'NO.'
And then she said, 'I'm looking for advice on my business ventures.'
And this is something she kept repeating, while looking thoroughly pissed off, and half-heartedly masturbating at the same time.
And she didn't ask in a friendly, polite way, as would be the way of most human conversation. No. Her tone was bratty, petulant, demanding. 'I'M LOOKING FOR ADVICE ON MY BUSINESS VENTURES. I'M HERE TO TALK ABOUT MY BUSINESS VENTURES. WHO CAN HELP ME WITH MY BUSINESS VENTURES?"
All of this delivered while dressed as Princess Leia, and masturbating, and looking thoroughly angry with the entire world.
And the chat at this point was positively surreal. Half of it was Star Wars puns ('You've given me a wookie in my trousers.' 'I'd Chew your Bacca! Lol!' ???) and the other half was generic business advice, about business plans and identifying your target market, that looked like it had been copy and pasted from a hasty google search by guys eager to impress her.
Eventually she stopped trying/pretending to masturbate - and she didn't just stop, she angrily stopped, looking like she was furious at everyone and everything. She addressed the camera and continued to ask for/demand help with her business ventures. 'Who will help me?' she said. And anyone who said, 'I will,' was immediately made a moderator, irrespective of who they were, how they had been behaving in the chat, or whether they were grey, blue or purple.
So, suddenly, from having no mods at all, the room had five or six - five or six random people, who were not fit to be mods. And, no surprise, they were absolutely shit at it, indiscriminately silencing anyone for anything - basically just doing whatever the hell they felt like.
It was chaos, anarchy. An out-of-control room, out-of-control mods, and a cam girl with, I'm sorry to say, one the shittiest attitudes I've ever seen from anyone - not just anyone on cam, but anyone anywhere doing anything.
It was a surreal experience, very funny, and enjoyable in a perverse kind of way. I hope writing about it here isn't a mean thing to do, and if I thought the girl would ever read this, I wouldn't write it. She was an attractive young woman, who maybe just has some anger issues to deal with, or maybe she was just having a bad day. But if she has any hope of making her 'business ventures' a success then she needs to run them one hell of a lot better than she ran her Chaturbate room.
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